Paranoid.

I admit that sometimes I have episodes of paranoia.

With my habit of overloading my brains with too much info, sometimes I cannot help myself from churning information that is not known whether it is authentic and foolproof. Especially, if it is very intriguing.

Like about this topic about Occult Symbolism (e.g Freemason, Satanist or Illuminati movements) that I recently discovered here.

I actually read this from a blog of my B&B reader, where she voiced out her scary thoughts about the topic. I have never stopped reading this site since.

Just so happened, this topic was also discussed in a local newspaper last Sunday, which helps contributing more to my paranoia. Last AJL at TV3 was “accused” to have elements of this ungodly movement, but honestly I am not sure whether it was just a coincidence or it was planned. Better be a coincidence.

From the site I read, some analysis has been done on many Hollywood stars in the music industry, including the eccentric Lady Gaga, the suddenly so daring Rihanna and Beyonce. After reading a few articles, I admit that some points are made pretty clear. Take Lady Gaga for example, I never get it why she is so full of mysterious and weird outfits and gigs, especially in her videos. Have you watched Bad Romance? Honestly that one gave me some chills. Its just..weird. (But the songs are quite catchy aren’t they?)

As for how true the author of the site is, I couldn’t say much. But from the way they write their piece, it’s a lie if I say it doesn’t make me think.

I am glad that I have my own beliefs to hold own to, at least that helps me to make my own evaluation of right and wrong. But the disturbing thing is how powerful this kind of thing could be, when it has the chance to penetrate into young and innocent minds. Their subtle hints and agendas are very easily missed, as it is using a somewhat harmless yet strong medium to poison minds (e.g music,entertainment).

God protect us from this, if it is ever true.

What do you think?

 p/s: I like the song Russian Roulette. But don’t you think that fanatic and weak fans of Rihanna could take it as an inspiration? Huhu.Spooky.

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Of having kids.

We were just starting up the week when our senior manager announced that one of our IT colleagues has tendered her resignation. The news was not new, as I have heard rumors around already. But the questioning point is that this lady is the kind of a person whom people label as a career driven and determined woman, why in the world would she resign? She is even recognized as one of our potential leaders in the company (I even had one episode of a heated discussion with her).

Then came another question, what is she going to do after her resignation? Stereotyping answer would be perhaps she got a better offer somewhere, or she is starting up her own business. A woman like that can’t stay at home; she is just not that kind of a person.

I had the opportunity to have a small conversation over coffee with her today, so I grabbed the chance to ask her what her plan is after saying goodbye. She blurted out a very simple and surprising answer: “I am going to stay at home and take care of my kids”.

Of all the points she made, I remembered her saying that she wants to be involved as much as possible in her children’s life, because they are her life. She just did not want her children to grow up realizing that the parents are too busy with work and other matters and just have no time for the children.

While the chat goes on, I couldn’t help reflecting.

After being married nearly a year, questions of when we are going to have a baby became a norm. We already anticipated this anyway, so we are ready with the answer.People may say the normal things they say, but we refuse to bother.

Having children matters to us, having children means we are ready to give them our commitment, a safe haven to live in, and a conducive, loving and nurturing environment for them to grow up in. Yes, it’s impossible to be perfect, but we want to try never the less.

When the time is right, and God is willing, the miracle will happen. And we believe in that.

When we have children, they will become our life.

So the conversation continues, and in the end I came to a conclusion that eventually, at some point of my life, I could be the one talking, on the other side of the coffee table (except for the part of being succesful as the one talking to me, coz that is not for sure yet.haha)

Miss Independent (or Ms.)

I have read somewhere (I think it was an article in CLEO magazine), that men finds independent women attractive. Is this theory true?

Well i think most of the new generation women are independent. Women nowadays have many more options, and most of them decide their own path of life.

My definition of being independent is simple: Able to do things on my own and finding my own way. I am not intending to brag about myself, but I am comfortable to say that I am an independent woman.

Perhaps it was because of my upbringing, where I pretty much fell into a survival situation. Being left by my parents at a tender age of 13 years, I had no choice, other than learning to survive. My parents had to leave me and brother in homeland for my dad’s posting, so I was sent to a boarding school, and my brother had to live with an uncle in kampong.

Because I started at an early age, I am too used to being independent, up to the point that I suffocate when people start to worry about me and thinking that I am not able to make it on my own.

I also loath it when men treat me like I am a spoiled girl or a weak person, and underestimating my ability to get things done. I mean, dude, I chose to be here, so cut the crap and just let me do my thing. I have found many men with this mindset here in the other side of the country. Maybe it is because they think that women are such fragile and frail creatures. Well sometimes it’s good to use gender as an excuse, but most of the time it just works against me.

However, being independent does not mean that I am insensitive. The bad side to it is that I tend to let my feelings hurt, whenever I yearned for some attention or love, and there was no one who can be there. Honestly, I wept inside, because I was too proud to let it come out of the shadows.

I may be an independent woman, but I am still a woman. Someone who deserves love and some attention once in a while. The independent traits will not go away, definitely, but with a man I love, sometimes I just want to be a woman.

And I am lucky that I met a man which is one of the kind who puts independence in his list. I think that is why he liked me in the first place 😛

So what do you prefer? An independent woman, or not?

Help me prove the theory. Heheh.

Photoblog #5 – Nostalgic

reception gombak, originally uploaded by yunayuni.

I just learned how to do vintage effect on photos, so i have done it on one of my favourite photos from our wedding.

I just love the emotions in this one.It was during our reception on Emri’s side.

If you notice in the picture, my brother was trying to put on my leg bangles, which came off when we were in the procession to the hall. I am quite surprised on how cheerful i looked, probably it was because i was trying my best to hide my nervousness. My bridesmaid cousin looked worried though.

The procession was delayed by 1 hour, and we were rushing to finish it before the nearby mosque recites the Zuhur azan. The delay was due to my parents and some of my family entourage not able to make it on time, because they were literally unable to get the car to move.

Of all the days, it was this day that my father locked the carkeys inside the car, and, it was parked in front of the house gate. Why not use other cars? Yeah well, it just so happened too, that all other available cars are blocked inside.

Funny huh? Oh well, it will surely make an interesting story to tell our children someday *grin*

Memories, sweet memories.

“Pleasure is the flower that passes; remembrance, the lasting perfume.” ~Jean de Boufflers

Bagaikan Sakti

Ok remember about the M Nasir 1 Wajah Concert we bragged about? Screw that. He is ditching us and performing in Singapore instead! With Siti Nurhaliza some more!

Concert 1 Wajah entah bila lah pulak. Looks like we have to reclaim the money we paid for the front seat tix.

Haruslah takde kesempatan nak pergi kan? Nasib baik ada Astro. Because we are both a big fan of M Nasir and Siti Nurhaliza, we are soooo subscribing to ABO Events.

Seb baik RM10 je.

Holiday mood.

There is something about the year end holidays that appeals to me. Its the holidays of course, and how everything gains a slow and steady pace. Hectic workplace has turned calmer when it comes to year end (but maybe that does not apply to some). Well at least it applies to mine.

Personally i think that Christmas has been turned into a commercial celebration, Western media has made it so interesting that everyone feels good when the Christmas season comes. Anyway i dont see any harm in that, except that maybe many pockets are burnt due to bargains and offers during the Christmas sales.

Who does not love the holiday season anyway? If not because my leave balance is approaching zero, i may not be here writing this blog. Maybe i am chilling out somewhere interesting instead.Heheh.

Happy Holidays y’all!

Hijrah

Meet me halfway, right at the boarderline
that’s where i’m gonna wait, for you
i’ll be lookin out, night n’day
took my heart to the limit, and this is where i’ll stay
I can’t go any further then this
I want you so bad it’s my only wish.

The Crib Project completed.

[Myster-E & Ayu-N-I]

The Crib Project: Twilight and Moving

Ok I know I am being wayyyy behind on this Twilight frenzy, but yeah, I finally watched the movie on Star Movies last night.In a nutshell:

  1. Edward Cullen is mysterious, and by not talking it makes him more interesting (I have this thing about less-talking guys, so am I letting myself into the Cullen Club now?)
  2. The soundtrack is awesome especially during the part when Bella discovers that Edward is a vampire.
  3. I love the baseball scene. There is something cool about vegetarian vampires, baseball, thunderstorm and a Muse song.
  4. I feel like reading the book now (because previously I had an idea that it is just a typical vampire story suck blood, whatever)
  5. It is a teenage genre actually, but there is something interesting about Stephenie Meyer’s story telling (well at least I think so).
  6. I can watch New Moon now.

Back to real life….

Moving day is this Thursday. Our current house is an M to the ESS. Seriously, packing a double storey house is exhausting, man. Glad we are moving into a cozier one-storey crib.

And I discovered that I have way too much junks in the house, especially plastic and paper bags. I am so putting away the plastic bags (so much of trying to be an eco-friendly person). If there is one thing this home move taught me, it will be never ever stash too much things “you-know-you-are-not-going-to-need-it-but-you-still-keep-it-just-in-case”. Trust me, the case rarely happens.

Lastly, electrical and lighting is finishing today (hope so). Hubby is supervising it, and I can’t wait to see the results. I think we both have an obsession with lights ;P.