Catching up.

I am a bit rusty at blogging as of today. Has been 1 month plus since i last blogged, in this blog as well as in B&B. I dont know, maybe i was distracted at one point of time and it seemed like it had lasted a tad bit longer.

A lot has happened in the real world, since the last post. I think the down point was when i suffered a really bad episode of heartburn+gastritis+acid reflux, a few days after my birthday. Yeah it was awful. Of all pain that i ever had in my life, that was the pain that i will always remember, as of now. It was like having a perpetual heavy burden on my shoulders, which constricts my chest and presses both of my shoulder blades all at once. I could not sleep it off, and had to wake up too many times at night. I was crying like a baby, because i was just so helpless and no medicine could put it away. Even the doc just asked me to hang on, and be strong.

Gosh. I cringe everytime i recall that.

But the bad episode made me realize one good thing. It is to appreciate a person called husband, the one who vowed to always be with you come hell or high water.Cringe i may when i recalled the episode, but because of his presence, i became strong again.

On a lighter note, last Saturday, we went for my 4th month check up. Doc had a glimpse of the baby’s gender, but she did not made any confirmation. I guess we need to wait until baby gets a bit bigger, so that doc can have a clearer view. She said there is a high probability that its a girl, because she did not see any hint of a male genital on baby. Well, it doesnt matter anyway. Its just that it feels good to anticipate, and playing the guessing game. Heheh.

Cant wait for the next check up.

Of having kids.

We were just starting up the week when our senior manager announced that one of our IT colleagues has tendered her resignation. The news was not new, as I have heard rumors around already. But the questioning point is that this lady is the kind of a person whom people label as a career driven and determined woman, why in the world would she resign? She is even recognized as one of our potential leaders in the company (I even had one episode of a heated discussion with her).

Then came another question, what is she going to do after her resignation? Stereotyping answer would be perhaps she got a better offer somewhere, or she is starting up her own business. A woman like that can’t stay at home; she is just not that kind of a person.

I had the opportunity to have a small conversation over coffee with her today, so I grabbed the chance to ask her what her plan is after saying goodbye. She blurted out a very simple and surprising answer: “I am going to stay at home and take care of my kids”.

Of all the points she made, I remembered her saying that she wants to be involved as much as possible in her children’s life, because they are her life. She just did not want her children to grow up realizing that the parents are too busy with work and other matters and just have no time for the children.

While the chat goes on, I couldn’t help reflecting.

After being married nearly a year, questions of when we are going to have a baby became a norm. We already anticipated this anyway, so we are ready with the answer.People may say the normal things they say, but we refuse to bother.

Having children matters to us, having children means we are ready to give them our commitment, a safe haven to live in, and a conducive, loving and nurturing environment for them to grow up in. Yes, it’s impossible to be perfect, but we want to try never the less.

When the time is right, and God is willing, the miracle will happen. And we believe in that.

When we have children, they will become our life.

So the conversation continues, and in the end I came to a conclusion that eventually, at some point of my life, I could be the one talking, on the other side of the coffee table (except for the part of being succesful as the one talking to me, coz that is not for sure yet.haha)

Holiday mood.

There is something about the year end holidays that appeals to me. Its the holidays of course, and how everything gains a slow and steady pace. Hectic workplace has turned calmer when it comes to year end (but maybe that does not apply to some). Well at least it applies to mine.

Personally i think that Christmas has been turned into a commercial celebration, Western media has made it so interesting that everyone feels good when the Christmas season comes. Anyway i dont see any harm in that, except that maybe many pockets are burnt due to bargains and offers during the Christmas sales.

Who does not love the holiday season anyway? If not because my leave balance is approaching zero, i may not be here writing this blog. Maybe i am chilling out somewhere interesting instead.Heheh.

Happy Holidays y’all!

The Crib Project: Checklist!

Just bought this book,and i think it pretty much helps me with something i talked about previously.Am at the middle now,and its a real page-turner.

The Crib project is progressing a lot these days,so does the cash flow.When you get your own house you want it to be perfect,but along the way you will learn that dreams do not come true overnight.So now i have to learn to prioritize (eventhough honestly,being the usual hasty me,means its a pain in the a**).Hubby had to bear with my hastiness quite a few times,and for that i am so sorry.I am trying my best to make do and be patient.Huhu.

Just a small checklist to share,maybe it helps when your turn comes soon 😉

IMPORTANTE!
1) Grill
2) Lighting
3) Movers
4) Curtains
5) Security (keys,padlocks,etc)
6) Update mailing address (to banks,insurance,membership,etc)
7) Utilities (Water,Electricity)

IMPORTANTE but not a priority yet!
1) Kitchen Cabinet
2) Wardrobe
3) Rewiring
4) Paint
5) Laundry area renovation

NICE TO HAVE!
1) Garden
2) Built in bookshelf
3) TV Rack
4) Other additional furnitures

I made my own Excel worksheet for the progress,which also helps a lot with the planning.

Bukan senang rupanya nak masuk rumah baru.Will update again soon! 😉

Thinking.

I have been opening this blog each and everyday since i last posted an entry.The urge to write something is always there but i seem to always let time flies without any.

Have you ever been thinking? I mean,always thinking? Like constant bubbles of thoughts pops out in your mind,and when it haven’t even popped off yet, another bubble came up? That is kinda what is happening in my mind.I found myself thinking all the time,not only about things that matters but things that doesnt as well.

Ok its not like i am going to talk about everything that i thought of,but some things has been bothering my mind these days:

• How do i see myself in the future?
• Am I doing something that I am meant to do?
• Is there any passion in what i am currently doing?
• Was this how i planned to end up,7 years back?

The funny thing is,i cant find any answer to most of the questions.But for q no 3,i can answer it without hesitation: No.

People may say that i am not grateful for what God gave me,that i have not learn to appreciate the bounty and His blessings.It is not like that,heck,not at all.Its just that i think i could do something else better,something that i really have the passion for.Something interesting and worth doing (well at least for me).And perhaps something that i know i am good at,and i can extend the goodness to people who receives the end results.

So,i have been thinking.I have decided that i may not stay this way until the end.At one point of time in my life later,i have to make sure the status quo is changed.

Of all the below,i am still figuring out which:

• Learn arts or graphic design.Sketch.Draw.Design.
• Write.Be a writer?Write a book?
• Be an editor or a graphic designer in some kind of magazine?
• Set up a creative business? (photography? creative stationery? crafts?)
• Be a rockstar.

I hope it won’t be too late when the time comes, eventually.

Of being selfless or selfish.

I do not consider myself  “not-selfish” or “selfless”.Because personally i think selfishness is human nature. You can see it especially at the worst of times. At times where we have to find escape,and when we sense that we are in danger.

Tak percaya? Cuba test.

But, i always find myself somewhat “trapped” in a situation where i had to DO something, when in fact i actually do not really want to. It seems to me, that my “sacrifice”, made space for people who could not care less, who went away running at light speed through the door, when they made up their mind not to DO that particular thing.

Which,left me alone, and other few who is either in the same condition as mine, or really honestly do not mind doing the thing.

How can people just NOT CARE? How can people just IGNORE and be INDIFFERENT? Is it because of they know that there are people like me? People who are willing to just not be selfish at that time, just because the WORK HAS TO BE DONE.

Sometimes i wonder if there are no more people like me.Will the world be a better place, where we humans care about absolutely nothing, but ourselves?

Honestly,am i that naive and gullible?

Oh, i dream of a day that i can run for the door too.But yet,is it the right thing to do?

Mixed Emotions.

Happy

Parents are coming back home for good very soon.

One of the girls,Mira,is getting married next week.

Hubby has a manual lense from FIL’s old Pentax,but it snaps beautiful photos.

Learning to take nicer pics now.And learning to edit them to be even nicer.

Hubby passed his exam!

Content

We are closing the deal on the house this Sunday.

Hubby has agreed that we will have a cabinet for the kitchen.So glad that getting a less than RM10k budget cabinet is still possible these days.IMPIANA Sept told us that.

I bought myself a TEFAL food steamer with a great bargain (that was an impulse-purchase)

Lonely

Am waiting for hubby to come home.10 days together during last raya holidays was the longest time we spend together so far.Made me miss him even more.

…and its raining most of these nights.

Excited

Attending many weddings this October month.Cant wait to shoot pics and meet people that we have not met for some time.

Company Annual Dinner is coming soon in November.Theme: Back to School.Now wth? What should i wear??

Broke

Yes,its just the beginning of the month and yet i found out that i cannot simply spend anymore!

Mellow

Mr Boss is leaving the department.Getting a new boss now, he was a colleague who got promoted.So i reckon things will go well.Hopefully.

Sorry&Sad

Yet another earthquake occured again last night.Double the trouble.Triple the devastation.My prayers to the victims and their families.May they recover quickly.And may we learn our lesson from this episode,again.

Aidilfitri 1430H

Pertama kali,beraya bersama suami dan keluarga.

Pertama kali, beraya tanpa adik-adikku Alefee dan Aderi.Kami berpecah tahun ni. Sorang di Seremban,sorang di kampung.

Pertama kali, tak beraya di Kelantan.

Pertama kali, beraya sebagai seorang isteri.

Tapi..

Untuk kesekian kali, beraya tanpa ibubapa dan adik kecilku Akila di sisi.

Mereka kan pulang Oktober ini.

Tahun depan boleh raya bersama kembali.

Insya Allah 🙂

What happens…

…when a bunch of girls meet up,dine,shop and engage in a cam-whoring session, while dragging their hubby/bf along?

Answer
This:

Left to right: a father in waiting,a joker bf,my sweet hubby,a hawt-new-addition-to-the-clan bf

Notice that each of them are holding at least one plastic bag (which of course is the result of each partners shopping spree)? Aww..that is sweet 😛 After getting tired of snapping our own pics,we turned to them.We were laughing our bottoms off to the sight.

We love our men 😛 

It’s a small world after all.

Ever been in a time when the phrase above makes total sense? I did.Many times.But these were recent. And things like this always makes me muse in retrospect.

Story 1

Last few weeks i discovered that i have already met my husband’s 2nd cousin, back in year 2000. She was a senior in my boarding school.Retrospectively, i would have never ever thought that my future husband is just a 2nd-cousin away.And there we were, saying our salams when we brush shoulders,never thinking that in the future we will cross paths again.How did i came to knew about her? Her husband is working in the same company, whom i have liased with last year.Now i officially have a relative in the company.

Story 2

Yesterday a friend from boarding school passed me a wedding invitation card ,of another fellow ex-classmate.When i opened the card, the face of the bride struck me. I knew this person. After confirming the name,it so happened that she was my brother’s “kakak angkat” back when he was in MRSM.

How i knew that she was his pet sis? She happened to study in UTP too, and said hi to me when she knew that i, the real kakak is studying there too.

How the hell does she came to know my fellow ex-classmate? No idea.But for sure, now i know both the bride and groom.Better reason to make it to the wedding 🙂 Insya Allah.

Story 3

I was browsing Facebook,when i came across this particular girl,which i really feel so familiar with. Apparently she was a daughter of my father’s colleague,back when they were posting in Switzerland.We used to hangout when we were in the country during our school holidays.Her connections was my classmates from UTP, but i was very positive that she did not study there.So,how come she has the same connections as mine?

Apparently again,she is now in a relationship with a guy who used to be an x-bf to a fellow classmate.No wonder.Facebook can really do wonders,even in the most unconventional way.At least now i found her and able to keep in touch again.

Conclusion

The world is so small.But yet when your future just pass you by or hit you between your eyes,you never noticed it.Ironic huh?